Troubles

One way to stay out of trouble when your wife goes out of town for 2 weeks is to cut a giant hole in the roof of your house. Of course, this is an excellent way to get into several alternative forms of trouble- not finishing before said wife returns being the primary one. Massive self inflicted flood damage runs a close second.

To make a long uninteresting story into a short uninteresting story: tonight I put the windows into the new dormer after 6 long beautiful rainless days of endless stair climbing and on this night there is a 100% chance of rain. Bring it.



Thank you Paul for letting me borrow your camera! Thank you little Hazel for being so damn cute and always smiling at my grizzly mug.

Now I can spy on the hippies in the pumkin orange house!!

A new friend

So I just got off the phone with the European continent for the first time ever and I thought the experience was worth documenting. I'm trying to get in touch with my wife who is currently in Prague. It took me four or five tries but it is in fact relatively easy to phone Prague.

transcript:

Funny euro beep....euro beep...

Mario-"praguepraguepragueprague?"

Me-"Uh, Hello. I'm trying to reach Ada Volkmer."

Mario- (slowly) I'm sorry could you say that again I don't understand you.

Me (slowly) I'm trying to reach my wife Ada Volkmer. She's a guest there.

Mario- Can you please call again? I cannot connect you.

Me (confused)- Again? A different number?

Mario (patiently)- the same number. I will pick up a different phone.

Me- okay

So again I get to practice international dialing and am in fact getting pretty good at it.

euro beep...

Mario- Yes you are calling for Addo Wolkmar?

Me- yeah. A. D. A. Ada

Mario- please hold

Hold music: Donkey Kong/Pitfall-ish themes- no kidding

Mario (inturrupting my early 80's Atari nostalgia)- What country is she from?

Me- She's from the United States and is traveling with her Mexican family.

Mario (lightbulb!)- OHHHHHHHH!

Mario- They are out in the city. Which one is your wife? The blond one?

Me- Yeah.

Mario- Good Choice!! (Czech's love blondes!)

Me- Er. Thank you.

Mario (practicing to himself in a low voice) Ada....Ada...

Then I leave a message and Mario introduces himself and tells me it was good to meet me and to have a nice evening. Mario's such a gentleman that, even though he is scoping my wife, I am filled with happiness at my first successful European telecommunications experience.

I even gush to my new friend Mario- "you're the first person from Prague I've spoken with."

Mario, veteran of transatlantic communication- "yes, for many it is their first time."

Meat and Doughnuts

Ross tells me the ash reminds us of our mortality. Dust to dust and such. Back in the day some grueling pennace or sacrafice was in order. Now folks give up doughnuts or meat goods for the Lenten duration. I'm calling my dust bath pennance enough and heading to Fudruckers for said meat items and fries. Also I accidentaly discovered beignets this week while disposing of my leftover fishfry batter in the pot of bubbling oil. So I'm sticking with doughnuts as well.

Ash Wednesday

I decided to go for the full immersion forehead. I'm working for a priest now and it's his dust on my head so I guess that's like going to church. Sort of. I should have asked him about the ashes. Why forehead ashes? Is it like passover? If so I was not passed over today by the angel of perpetual dustyness. This is my life. From dust to dust to dust. Rinse. Repeat.



Behold, the new miter saw!! 12" sliding dual bevel action baby. Also I made the miter table. It's modular so it transforms into a regular work table. It's got a 14' wingspan. Not that I'm bragging but that is one hell of a wingspan. Really I just like writing wingspan.

Cheap thrills with polyurethane tonight!! Probably should have left that window open...

whadahell?

So much to cover since the last post. Family update: my cousin Virginia has been coronated. My uncle Tucker was made her robot butler. Somehow the terrifying monarch from the Burger King commercials is involved. Yes, mom's dress is made from real gold. Details of court intrigues will follow...

Curious as Hell

What job is this? Who the hell drives around in a truck with 2 other guys wearing hard hats and totes around a household vacuum cleaner (this word vacuum always looks mispelled). Everything is wrong with this picture. The guy riding bitch helmetless. The fact that they only need enough tools for one side box. Nobody has just one side box. And what kind of vacuum is this? This is not a shop vac. No one has ever used a vacuum like this in any place where hard hats are required. Not ever. These guys are spies or terrorists or jehova's witness, most likely.

The Beast

Behold the beast in all her glory! Nemesis, teacher, engineered lumber. I'm thinking of composing poetry or creating a shrine. Something to ward off danger and repeated mistakes. This is the beam that made me a believer in back braces, proper lifting mechanics, the brevity of youth, etc. Here she is still lurking behind the treated fencing and posts at the Home Dog. Any volunteers interested in helping me take her home to my hoard?